Solo mum follows her dreams with IVF
Dental nurse Emma Beacham was 37 years old with a naturally conceived four year old son who she was raising as a solo parent when she took the decision to try for another child through a fertility clinic.
Emma said: “I love being a mum, knew I could parent well on my own and wanted a bigger family. I had hoped to have less of a gap between my babies but life – and Covid – got in the way.
“I suddenly became very aware of my biological clock ticking so, because I’m not in a relationship, going to a fertility clinic seemed like the obvious way ahead.”
Bristol Centre for Reproductive Medicine (BCRM) was recommended to her by another solo mum who had already had a child through them.
Since late Covid precautions were still in place at that time, Emma started her investigations by attending one of BCRM’s virtual open evenings.
Inspired after this to get things started, her next step - a fertility check-up at BCRM - gave Emma an unexpected wake-up call.
“I hadn’t anticipated any problems in having a second child since I conceived naturally when I had Jack, but the check-up revealed I had a low ovarian reserve,” said Emma.
Every woman’s egg count decreases as she ages, but this was happening sooner than expected for Emma and could have made it harder to get pregnant, so she decided not to delay treatment any longer.
“I’m a firm believer in following your dreams, and mine definitely included another child,” she said.
“The clinic was offering virtual consultations, but I wanted to go in and meet my consultant, Abhi Paisal. I was so glad I did. She was fantastic and explained everything very clearly so I really felt I knew what I was letting myself in for.
“We discussed the possibility of using intrauterine insemination (IUI) treatment, which would have involved donor sperm being injected into my womb when I was ovulating, but Abhi felt I would stand a better chance of success using IVF.”
Solo women choosing to undergo fertility treatment are not eligible for NHS funding, and Emma would not have been eligible anyway because she already had Jack, so she was a self-funding patient. She chose to use a Danish sperm bank and says she took her time picking the right donor.
In November 2021 Emma attended the clinic to have her eggs harvested, followed by a fresh embryo transfer which resulted in a positive pregnancy test. Sadly, however, that baby miscarried in January 2022.
“I was very disappointed,” said Emma, “but I was so well supported by BCRM, especially Carrie Lomax, their director of nursing, who gave me the most incredible support over the phone. It was clear how much they cared – that could have been a very lonely experience otherwise.”
Since Abhi Paisal had advised Emma to take the precaution of having the remaining embryos frozen, when her periods resumed in April 2022 the BCRM team were able to carry out a frozen embryo transfer, which resulted in a second pregnancy.
Emma said: “The whole team were just lovely. When I was having the transfers and my scans it didn’t feel at all invasive. Everyone was so friendly and professional, very calm and chatting to me. There was no stress at all.”
This time Emma’s pregnancy proceeded normally and just after Christmas, with her own mum for her partner in the delivery room, Emma gave birth to 8lb 5oz baby Noah.
“The actual delivery was rather traumatic because the baby’s shoulders got stuck and the midwives had to use a suction cup, but we were both all right in the end,” Emma said.
“Jack adores his little brother and I’m thoroughly enjoying my maternity leave with the two of them. Since Jack will start school in September it’s just lovely that we’ve all got this precious time at home together.
“I appreciate that babies born from donor sperm can seek contact with their natural fathers when they’re 18, and I’m cool with Noah doing that if he wants to. In fact, I’m preparing a book for him with all the details in, to allow him to do it easily if he so wishes. It is possible to use an unknown donor, but it was important to me to use a known donor.
“Obviously being a solo mum is not something every woman would choose, but for me it’s the right thing and I’m so happy we live in a time where we have that choice and I’ve been able to follow my dreams.
“I’m very grateful to the team at BCRM for enabling me to achieve this.”
BCRM www.fertilitybristol.com is the longest established fertility clinic in Bristol, helping people from throughout the South West and Wales with fertility treatment for both private and NHS patients. The clinic is involved in innovative research and has one of the best success rates with IVF and other fertility treatments in the UK.
